featured: Processing an Early Stage Cancer Diagnosis
On Dec 17, 2009, my life changed forever. After a series of Mammograms, ultrasounds and finally a biopsy, I received a diagnosis of Stage 1 Estrogen Receptor Breast Cancer.
I was completely stunned by the news and what I remember most about that morning in my Doctor’s office is that I started sobbing uncontrollably for what seemed like an eternity. Perhaps this is why my Doctor began to repeatedly assure me that I was going to be just fine and that this would just be a ‘blip’ in my life. Admittedly, if you have to receive a breast cancer diagnosis, then mine was one of the better kinds to get. I was very lucky that my cancer was caught early and was not one of the more aggressive types of breast cancer. My cancer was very treatable, my Doctor told me, and for the time being, that did seem to calm my nerves.
And so, my Doctor and I made a plan for my care. I was to have a lumpectomy followed by radiation. That didn’t seem too awful and although it was still scary, I was relieved to discover that I wouldn’t be needing chemotherapy. Unfortunately, after the lumpectomy, a followup MRI showed that I had another small mass. My Doctor was confident that she could perform another lumpectomy and told me that my treatment plan would essentially remain the same. However, after my second lumpectomy, my Doctor broke the news that they’d been unable to get clean borders, meaning that the best option for me to become cancer-free would be to have a mastectomy. I was so completely caught off guard by this news because all along I’d been assured that my cancer was caught early and that the tumours were small. In my mind, a mastectomy had never been a possible part of the plan.
“There was a complete disconnect in terms of what was happening to me, how I was feeling about my diagnosis and what the Doctors were saying about my condition.”
Which leads me to why I decided to write this post: I’d like to ask the medical community to please stop minimising small tumours and early-stage cancers. I understand the reasons why Doctors might say the things they do, but I would just like to shed some light on some of the consequences of using that type of language.
In my opinion, there was a complete disconnect in terms of what was happening to me, how I was feeling about my diagnosis and what the Doctors were saying about my condition. It was difficult to reconcile the fact that I would be losing a breast with how often I’d been reminded that my tumours were so ‘small.’ Saying to someone, “cancer is just going to be a ‘blip’ in your life,” after they have had two lumpectomies, countless scans and biopsies, and then finally a mastectomy with reconstruction seems a bit casual. I’m not sure what the right things are to say to early-stage cancer patients but I’m hoping that there could be some sort of a balance between acting as if it isn’t a big deal, to making it seem as if this is the worst thing that can ever happen to you! I know that for me it would have helped me to process my diagnosis better. I’m not sure if I’m alone in my feelings about this but I suspect not.